Running low

Listening to Shaw Mendes' "Running Low" at almost midnight, is never a good idea; neither listening to any low song for that matter especially when you feel like things are nor right at the moment. And while running low, it is somehow never a bad idea listening to "Never be alone".

Home: is where love is, where Wi-Fi connects automatically, where you feel home. Home is in your arms. I would have never thought, that after calling so many places home, I would crave the feeling of home so much. It is said that people change and they adapt to anything that they enounter. So have I. Whether I was in a different continent, whether it was different people I called friends and bros and sisters, I always managed to create the feeling of home. So whenever I think of the places I have left, I always feel a fuzzy feeling.

To me, home is a place where time has stopped. There are two places I call home. Whenever I think about it, I cannot help but wonder if it is two different me that lived in those places. Because isn't it strange to have more than one place to call home? My first home is definitely where my parents are. They have not really moved from that place from the past 25 years, but any place they go really, to me will always feel home because that's where their love will always prosper. Being blessed to have such loving parents, I do feel a little bit of a guilt when I admit that there is a second place I call home. No person will ever be able to give me as much love as they've given me.

But the second home, it's a place where I gave love. I received love, a lot of it; so much that I sometimes it was just a dream. I think it's very easy to give love to strangers, mainly because they are strangers. Strangers do not expect much from you, so anything you give them comes a little as a surprise. Strangers do not share out much either, so whenever you receive something, you cannot help but want to give more in return because you'd like them to feel that same awesome feeling of connecting with someone.

That was how I stumbled upon this second place I now call home. In a setting where everyone has their own story, I grew up to become more undestanding, I grew up each day to understand the importance of giving even if 1mg of love. They say love is something you cannot measure. I think you can, it's just that everyone's way of measuring is a little different. This place where I left piece of me.

Take a piece of my heart

And make it all your own

So when we are apart

You'll never be alone

I left it because there were people I loved with all my heart. And I also left for the my very selfsih reason of having an actual reason to go back to that place. People change, and so do promises. Worrying if I would ever have a place to go back to, I left a piece of myself. I took a piece of it with me as well in case I might never be able to go back.

After leaving my second home, at first, I rarely tried to think of how I labeled it home. I felt that remembering of how it was home to me would only bring those good memories back. You know, I am a very sentimental person. I tend to cry a lot too, especially when I read, see or think of touching things. I never tried to bring the memories back. I only tried keeping the feeling of home close to me.

I labeled other places home as if trying to cover up for something that was missing inside of me. I tried to be part of something that I maybe did not feel so strong about so that I could convince myself I was moving forward. I also tried forgetting about it; I call it the denial stage.

Then I came up to terms, with the fact that memories are memories because they are kept dear in someone's heart.

You'll never be alone

When you miss me close your eyes

I may be far but never gone

When you fall asleep tonight just remember that we lay under the same stars

I came up to terms with my own selfishness that I had to somehow move on and not use those memories as an excuse to get me down. Once I came to realize the later, apathy embraced me. I forgot about who I was, about who I loved, who I cared. I also came to realize that this was something I was unconscously doing in order to protect this selfish me from being hurt of the feeling of missing those memories.

And then it just so happens, that my own self decided that for some reason, it would be impossible for me to go back to that place, to the people I called precious to me.

It took me quite a while to understand that stopping my time, was not helping anyone. My second home, had not changed much, but it's time had gone forward. That was when my selfish self understood that had hurt the ones precious to me trying to stay away from them in the hope that I would miss them less. I missed them even more, and when the clock resumed, I missed them like crazy.

After apathy, overflowing energy comes pouring and I had no idea what to do with it honestly speaking.

Right now it's pretty crazy

And I don't know how to stop or slow it down

So, to make up for the lost time, I did more than I could take on me, which has made me now bedridden, reason why I have the time to write this post which I would otherwise never have the courage to write. At least, I can be honest when I am sick.

Second home, I wish I could be with you now. I wish could be there and wake up that same rountine: even if it did not contribute much to my personal growth, it made my heart much bigger, and happier. I wish I could hug all the people I called second mom, dad, uncle, aunt or friends. Because I felt that I was accepted and loved, I have always wanted to give back the same amount of love, but the coward me decided to run away. I am not running away anymore. I will not run away from anything else in the future either.

One day, I promise I will come back. When I come back, it won't be for staying long. When I come back, I want to spend my time hugging the ones precious to me, telling them stories of my boring present and how hard I am working to make it a present for which they can be proud of. I know they always are, but I would never feel good about if I was not proud of it to being with. Until I reach that day, I will continue to make many more memories I can share with you so that we can spend countless mornings talking about them with a hot cup of coffee and a fresh doughnat. If the day I come it's around my birthday, then we'll definitely make up for all the missed birthdays with a huge strawberry shortcake.

I do understand now, that I never was, and never will be alone.  

Sometimes they just make you feel the butterflies

Hi from D.Cri~

It has been such a long time since my last post. I guess posting a song for day, was too much of an ambitious project for someone that could listen to a song for weeks if they like it. Basically listening to it until you start hating the song~ Hehe~ 

But, here I am again. And yes, yet another time the song I am proposing is a drama related song. I think I have already posted a song of this artist. It seems he is a really well-known singer in South Korea; shamelessly I only know him because he makes good songs for dramas. K.Will is noted for having top celebrities star in his videos, but this is always far from being the case that the singer gets less credits only because a more handsome man gets the spotlight in the video. I have to admit, his voice is not part of the category that make me fall in love at the first tone, but he's got a sweet voice which makes you melt hehe~ 

For those who have read my previous posts, it is also obvious that I love watching dramas. There's been only 2 dramas that I have watched more than once, but there's never been a case where I would watch the same episode again and again until the release of the next episode. I don't care what happens next; episode 9 of Descendants of the Sun, is by far my favorite episode of the drama itself, and of any other dramas evah evah~ I am nowhere near my teenage years, and yet watching this episode brought out the teenage in me. Kind of makes you fall in love with the idea that falling in love, and what's worse is that it makes you think that it's completely fine to do. I will be listing here moments that made me feel butterflies in my stomac and that made me wish I could re-start my relationship just so that I could feel this way over and over again. 

So now, before getting into the top moment of episode 9 that made my heart flutter, put this song in the backgroud (you know for better results of a thumping heart, not that Song Joong Ki does not suffice for that purpose). Don't bother putting on repeat, because the song that will probably play next is another OST of this drama, and they are all pretty nice songs. :) 

If you are watching Descendants of the Sun and have not got to episode 9 yet, then please do not read this if you don't want the episode spoilered!

So, let's start from the very beginning of the episode. Very cool, you start off with a nice slow song that call out to love Saranghe~

And then, because you completely forgot about the first few episodes about it, even though you asked yourself so many times, where would that recoding would be used in the series, the will recording makes its comeback yay~~ 

And of course, it can't be the typical mello where the girl just tells him straight forwardly that she likes him, it has to be this way~

And what comes after it, it's even better. 

Yes, the smirk. Because after rejecting him 4 times, and then letting him know you love him in a roundabout way in your dying will would definitely make anyone want to die from embaressement. Well, in the meantime, I can't help but fangirl a little bit from the inside and sing along "malhae! mwohae?, malhae! mwohae?, ireodaga babocheoreom, hannunpalge haji malgo" (trans here Tell her! What’re you doing? Tell her! What’re you doing?, Don’t make me look somewhere else like a fool) 

Of course you were kissed by a cool man. My heart jumped in my mouth when I saw it, so well, yeah, a very cool kiss by a cool man. 

So was mine~ ~ ~ 

And then, how many of you changed their seat after he jumped of the window to get her at the entrance?? I jumped on the couch, and hoped that she would not come out with one of her stupid reasons to reject him again. 

Yes, it startled me too ~ Alright, so you might already know by now that I am a hopelesly romantic person, but you know, a little bit of romanticism kind of makes you want to fall in love with the same person over and over again. I wished relationships had spontaneuos romantic scenes as well apart from the spontaneuous fighting and making up. But, that's another story. Now, back to the episode ~

She's really lost it at this point. Well, try rejecting him for the 7th time after you half confess XD

Of course it's not alright captain Si Jin. Grab her hand, and don't let her go. Kya ~ ~ ~

Oh well, it won't work this time either it seems. It doesn't work if it's not difficult, right captain Si Jin? New day, new beginning!

Turn around, turn around, turn around! Admit it, the repeated "You startled me" scene really worked out well. Seems like  he knows where she is all the time and is there to either watch her or protect her. 

You don't really look like a Big Boss with a face like that. I wonder how she managed to keep her character while he was making that mischivious face because that is just so funny. "What are you doing here?" "Nothing, just hoping you'd pass by because in case you did not understand, I really like you". 

This scene makes me feel butterflies, because there's literally nothing to be embarassed about your own feelings, and yet we always seem to fret so much about it that it makes it unbearable. To me, the feeling of wanting to dissapear if someone knows about my feelings, is so real, that I can't help but feel as if I was the one those words were intended for. Don't misunderstand, I am not refering to Si Jin talking to me, but people sorrounding me; it it more related to the situation talking to me than the actor. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years already, and at times, it just makes me so embarassed to tell him simple things like "I got this because I always think of you when I see it", "I miss you because I like you so much that I miss you even it's only a day we're apart even after 4 years together." It's not like telling makes a difference to the fact that you love him or miss, but it helps you cope with it better, and depending on his reaction, you can either have a hug or a fight. My boyfriend is anti-mello, so saying those things, makes me feel even more embarassed than wanting to dig a hole and sleep in it, but at the same his reaction makes me want to come out of this hole, dig a little deeper and let him sleep in it instead. :P

I would feel pretty if I knew I was the ugliest person on the planet if I were to be told every day that I am pretty. Now, the reason I tell me boyfriend I like him everyday, is not because I want to feel well about it, but if I tell him everyday, then at some point he will get it fixed in his head and never forget it, maybe? 

What I absoultely love about his character in this drama, is his consistency in the intensity of his attacks and flirting. "It's impossible to spend time with you" is how'd interpret, and there is absolutely nothing wrong in saying it, just saying. You'll just make your partner feel more liked. 

And the typical "You did well" scene. Now, even though "You did well" is typical, the "You did well to go through a mined land with minimum equipment" is way out of the scope of did well, so I couldn't help and kya~ ~ for a moment. 

And here is to more kya ~ moments. How to simply make compliments. 

 Awfully pretty :3  ~

Well done! The hell with the be happy, you can't be happy with someone else after rejecting me 7 times hehe ~

You did girl, and the answer you get, I think it's a fair one considering how many times you rejected him XD haha And of course, the kiss scene cannot not be present kya  ~

And now Salute to the most akward goodbye after kissing in the goodnight kiss history XD  

This was a funny moment, but I just love those two's chemistry, and I really wish to see them get together. You could say they got another kya ~ with this scene :3 

Cupid, that is not the right way to send love shots, but gotta admit that I loved this scene. Not kya scene that makes your heart throb, but it stole a smile so it's been listed here! 

Here's yay ~ to another couple we hope to see together until the end, hoping that no other earthquake distroys earth, and that no one gets shot by the bad guys in the end, even though the bad guys seem to have history with Si Jin. 

And to top it off, the best way to shut the mouth of the girl you like in a sexy way hahaha. This is probably a double kya ~ in this episode. 

Ok, and with this last picture, I am finishing my report of the most kya ~ ik episode in dramaland that I have watched so far; not just a kya ~ scene, an entire kya  ~ episode. 

I watch the drama on dramayou.com, so feel free to check the website out if you get hookep up in the series. Let me know if you liked the episode and share your thoughts on the kya ~ moments listed here. 

March all in one :)

Happy March all over again. I have been missing recently, and that is mainly of the workload, so I have not been able to update the song of the day session, but that does not mean I have not saved a playlist :P So I am going to make a collection of the daily songs here, but before that, first things come first. 

The flower is to wish all of the ladies Happy Women's day even though it comes a little late. In some countries, like mine, 8th of March is more like Mother's day so we give flowers to moms, but recently with the capitalization of concepts even in here March 8th has started to be considered more the Women's day. 

I recently started watching Beyond the Clouds, the kdrama. The plot sounds ok; it is a cliche story of falling in love with your enemy, but nevertheless there are a few characters that make it interesting, so I am looking forward to see how it will progress. In the meantime, the OST for the drama is entitled "Whale" of Zitten and it has gotten me quiet hooked up. So enjoy it too. Find here the translation provided by Wannabefob:

On the days when my heart can’t fully take hold of [control] my feelings,

When it^  takes me to a deeper place,

In the form of the beautiful figure that made me cry sometime [ago],

Tonight in my dreams it finds me again

Now that I’m here, what kind of words am I wanting,

What kind of feelings am I anticipating?

Now even I have a road to go on,

Even though it is dim and vague*;

It wasn’t anything, your

back figure disappearing from me

When the sea’s floor finds the night again,

That deep water pressure presses on [suppresses] me;

The names that called me sometime [ago]

That are inside my memories,

Tonight in my dream they find me again

Now that I’m here, what kind of words am I wanting,

What kind of feelings am I anticipating?

Now even I have a road to go on

Even though it is dim and vague*

It wasn’t anything, your

back figure disappearing from me.

March 4 Parachute - She is love 

March 5 Travis Garland - Airplanes

March 6 Arctic Monkey - Do I wanna know?

March 7 Bastille - Things we lost in the fire

March 8 Blue- Where you want me

March 9

March 10

March 11 Darin - What if I kiss you now

March 12

March 13 Yonghwa - You have fallen for me 

March 14 Kang Min Hyuk - Star :) absolutely love it

March 15 Ed Sheran - Lego house

March 16 Gabrielle Alpin - Please don't say you love me

March 17

March 3, 2014

Hello again!! Do not ask why, and when and how, but I was just reminded of this song, even though it is heartbreaking. So hope you enjoy "Fall for you" of Second Hand Serenade. :) 

March 2, 2014

I wish I could say happy Sunday to everyone, but I am really sick today :( 
The only songs playing in the playlist today are the ones I listened last at last night. Today's song will still be a Blue song - "Hurt Lovers" so I hope you enjoy!

Stay healthy! :) 

Happy March!!!

Happy March! And Chestit Baba to all possible Bulgarians that might end up reading the post, or any foreigner who spent enough time in Bulgaria to come to love the tradition of martenitsa. :) If you want to know more about martenitsas click on the word itself and read about the most colourfull and amusing tradition that brings friends at least once a year back together. :) 

Anyways, since in the last post I tried to have everybody remember their teen idols, here are my teen idols. After almost 10 years of pause they came back with a new album. As much as I might have liked them before, I do still like them, but this is one of the only 2 songs I liked in the album. "Without you" - Blue. Enjoy!

Since remembering them brings up a few memories of people that I do not remember, I will skip for now, but I am sure the moment will come when I will just smile while listening to them the same way I used to do up until 7 years ago. :)

February 28, 2014

Today's song comes as an attemp to have you jump around your room while dancing because of its positivity. At least that is what I did :P "Because of you" by B2st
While dancing you might be reminded of your long forgotten idols of your teen years :P hahaha.